he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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