it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
