Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
