he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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