Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
