It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
