thus making me awesome and them whores
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
