shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
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