i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
