she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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