She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
