nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
