Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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