Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
