My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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