i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I wish life had little blips of pornography
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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