Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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