She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
