I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Someone came in the potted fern
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize