she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
