i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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