just tell him i said nine months
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
