I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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