He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
