are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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