Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I will be naked everywhere
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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