I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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