They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
