conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
