Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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