i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
last night I used snow as a chaser
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
