It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
