Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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