You smell like a Billy Joel song
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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