my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
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The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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