But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Non-Jews are for practice
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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