No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
