I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
