I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
