So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
