my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
