I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
