either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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