Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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