I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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