That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
