dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
