i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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