his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
