I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
