I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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