i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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