Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
