You can't motorboat a personality
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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