these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
