Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize