I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
