At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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